this post will focus on what you hear
when you're on the phone
after after you hear:
"please hold. while i transfer. your call"
Holocaust music
Cause nothing says "good morning sunshine"
And "thank you for banking with rbc"
Like having to listen to the soundtrack
To Schindler's list
For 10 minutes strait
While having to wait
For the next appropriate agent
Who probably has no idea what they are doing
Or what you are talking about.
The monumental
yet haunting violin and somber pianonic melody.
Not to be confused with the incestuous celebration of sound
that is
"the fiddle".
Along with ridding myself of the task at hand (my fave)
i like to take this time
to imagine myself on top of an auschwitzial mountain
In black and white
Amount a black stallion
Staring down at the auscwitziness
In liam neeson disguise.
True to Schindler's list soundtrack form,
one would pray for track 4.
Which just so happens to be my "track du jour"
To be playing
the day
I hang myself from the ceiling of my room
Charlie brown music
I love charlie brown
I am the live action charlie brown
Except I have long hair
am of the female gender
And I would never wear a yellow tshirt
With brown shoes
Now there's 2 types of charlie brown musics:
1) The type where pigpen be actin' the foo
doing that dance they all do
where it looks like they're seizing on their feet
as dust be boucin' up all around that bitch
And by "that bitch"
I mean Lucy's slutty ass and her kleptomaniacal
Slut hands of football snatching proportions.
And
2) the song that plays when charlie brown gets fucked over YET AGAIN.
or more popularly known as
the song that plays on arrested development when george michael breaks up with anne.
also known as
The theme song to my life
Not to be mistaken for the other theme song to my life
which is
anything by the Wu Tang Clan
Taylor swift or equivalent vomit inducing music
This is the part where I put my headset volume to 1 so as to not torment my ears with the equally vomit inducing sound of
"I'm 16 and my life is the WOOOOOOORRRST"
that. or
Something that sounds like its being sung
By those fucking assholes from Glee
I don't care what anyone says
That show can eat shit.
you see,
People with permanent "bitchface"
With the word "fuck you"
Written across their forehead
or "me" in short.
Are not legally permitted to watch Glee.
More importantly,
If I wanted to watch 30 minutes of non-stop
canned cheese,
Ill watch an hour and 40 minutes
Of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Thank you very much
