To all the people
Who tweet things like:
"Just went to liquid nutrition
and had a smoothie!! #omnomnom"
I don't know if you got the memo
while on my toilet bowl)
But nobody gives a flying
Deep fried
Fuck
What you're
Doing
Or eating for that matter.
Ever
Thats why they invented little thing called
Instagram.
This information
Does not have to be broadcasted
All over twittertopia.
Spare us.
Unless the straw
Used to drink said smoothie
Has gotten
Lodged in your trachea.
then Call 911.
Or tweet"
"Im choking!!! #fml #seriouslythough"
Correct me if im wrong
(Because i probably am)
But isn't twitter supposed to be
A marketing tool?
The fact that you are bored and
Consequently tired
Is of no concern to anyone.
Unless im a twitter account
Selling flaming batons
(still bored?)
The issue lies in the fact
That we are living in a world
Where everyone wants to be famous
Everyone wants to be a star
And anyone who is anyone knows
That the best way to become famous
Is to somehow
Crawl into a male celebrity's nutsack
And pray to god that you aren't
Swallowed.
Am i right, Will Smith's Kids?
On that note:
Follow me
@melnudohyeah
I never tweet
But if you enjoy this bullshit
There's like
A 70% chance my tweets
Will be equally if not more entertaining.
