ballSAAQ

So I went to the saaq downtown
And the lady asked me
"What are you doing all the way here"
After replying
"The fuck is it to you?"
I said
"Because I hate st leonard
And I hate henri bourassa"
(Not the politician. cause he's like the number 3
on my list of dead people I'd fuck...
if they were alive)
Welfare is contagious
And I have a weak immune system

The guy that took my picture
Gave me back my stuff and I said
"3 to 5 business days right?"
(A saaq insider for sure)
And he looked at me like I said quebec and the french language can go to hell.
Then we made out
No we didn't
He wishes we did
I wish we did

Don't you wish it were legal to kill people?
(i know i do. at 7:30am on my bus)
Annoying people though
I do it all the time with my eyes
I wish lasers shot out my eyes
Gold sparkly ones
and the song "sandstorm" from darude would come on everytime this happened.
So not only could I commit mass murder at lightning speed.
But I can go to raves and be like the coolest person there.
who needs glowsticks
When your eyes are violent yellow hiliters that blow shit up?
On that note.
Here are a list of weapons I want for my birthday:


a flame thrower (for obvious reasons)
Anyone who knows me well
Knows that my pyromania exceeds every aspect of me.
exceeding my animania, my general mania
and oddly enough
my wrestlemania (consisting of razor ramon and more razor ramon)
Some people spread the love with kisses and their penis
I show it with uncontrollable high-speed flames
Produced from a tiny backpack filled with butane gas strapped to my back.

To each their own I guess

gold plated letter opener
Yes.
How very bourgeois of me indeed
In my eyes,
(The ones that shoot lasers)
nothing is classier
(and screams "cheerio watson!")
like stabbing someone with the same thing
used to open my rejection letter (twice)
from mcgill university.


those pressure gun used to kill bovine
And for those of you who don't own a dictionary
Bovine is how assholes (like myself)
and dairy farmers (i wish)
say "cow"
unfortunately,I don't watch that many movies
But I did watch 2 minutes of "no country for old men"
And in these 2 minutes.
Not only did I realize that I would lick javier bardem from head to toe
Even if he were covered with fire ants and A1.
But how awesome would it be
to rebuttal any argument with a maximum pressurized shot to the middle of the eyes.

future corpse: "I never saw the little mermaid"
Me: *pulls pressure gun out of pants* BOOM! *runs from cops*

Jokes on them
I never saw the little mermaid either.