wooooooo.
okay seriously.
italy is out. and im indifferent because i love italy as a county but i loathe italy as a rotten burrow that i live in.
therefore. no wins = no assault with a deadly weapon (massive tridented pitchfork strapped to front bumper of mini SUV) by me.
second.
VUVUZELAAAAAAAAA
a word i have been using at every opportunity for the past 2 weeks whether or not it be in context with the conversation i happen to be having at that present moment.
what an intense word for such a stupid thing.
its a god damn horn.
drunk french butch moms use to "vuvuzela it up" at my brother's pee wee hockey games.
back when it was called a "french mom horn"
and back when vuvuzela's were paired with the words "hostie", smoker's cough, and the graceful stance that is one leg mounted on a wooden bench.
i like taking barenaked ladies songs and replacing key words with YOU GUESSED IT. the word "vuvuzela".
for instance.
instead of "you could be my yoko ono" i say:
"you can be my vuvuzela, you can follow me where ever i goo"
or
IF I HAD A VUVUZELAAAAAAA...i'd be rich-a"
moving along.
i invented my own cat fight scenario.
its pretty much:
cristiano ronaldo
diego forlan
the ultra saucy diego maradona
and fernando torres.
i call them all by their first names.
get some personified recognition up in this bitch.
spain vs portugal was not spain vs portugal
it was fernando vs. cristiano in wedding dresses wrestling in vaseline and rose petals.
i had my money on fernando.
but i also hope cristiano ronaldo falls ass then face first down the spiral staircase in back of a st-michel duplex unit.
hence the bias.
in the end. forlan is number one in my heart
and that's only because my dad is from uruguay.
and uruguayan victory equals crazy uruguayan celebration parties with hot uruguayan guys that i havn't made out with yet.
finally.
i heard paris hilton got narc'd smoking pot at the brazil-netherlands match.
all i have to say about this is:
1) really?
2) you're in south africa
3) you're at a soccer stadium with zillions of people.
4) you're paris hilton
you dumb ass.
on that note.
FIELD TRIP
i'm off to cuba.yes. i know.
i'll be black in a week. literally
just like the little boy i plan on smuggling into the country illegally along with every stray cat and desi arnaz i see.
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