y'know what time it is?!?!!?!

blog time.
*EXPLOSIONS*
*contemporary dancers in yellow sequined jumpsuits with fringe at the bottom*
*rev jesse jackson backed up by the harlem boys choir*

so did you ever get the feeling like you wanted to kick someone's ass.
im serious.
like the sudden urge to just slide tackle them to the floor?
i would only partake in the previous if and only if:

i were wearing chandelier earrings.
you know the long, heavy ones that just hang.
why, you ask?
that's because when i'm deciding whether or not
i really want to beat the shit out of someone.
the deciding force will be driven by the idea
of being all "shits about to get hood"
where i will proceed in removing the earrings.
gently placing them in the hands of the person next to me.
(saying "hold this")
then i continue to walk forward
and uppercut a bitch.

Once i was on the corner of atwater and st catherine.
and its 8 o'clock in the morning
and i havn't injected my veins with a syringe full of espresso at this point.
however i am holding a coffee.
on my way to work.
at a traffic light, as im waiting for the bonnehomme light to show his sexy self.
a runner run's past me skimming my coffee.
at this point im thinking to myself:
imagine she would have knocked it down?
and i would pause
look at the coffee
look at the runner
and just start running after her.
catch up to her and grab her by the hair.
drag her all the way back to mcdonalds,
get to the cash, throw her to the ground and scream "BUY ME A COFFEE!!!!!!!!"
but then i realized that would be FUUUUUUCKED.

so then i crossed the street and went to work.
at work i told the guy that sits next to me what had just happened and he said:

"wow. your life sucks."

my response?

"it REALLLLLLLLLY does..."