Fernando

is a sex fiend. just kidding.
fernando is the man with whom my father is having an affair.
or so i tell my mother.

this all stems from the fact: my father is an avid golfer.
summertime consists of my mom being home and loud (as per usual) and my dad going golfing at any chance he gets.
hence. the birth of Fernando, the Guatemalan sex pot.

so it goes like this: SCENE- Kitchen

me: "where's papa?"
nina: "golfing..."
me: "oh, golfing eh?"

...

then i go on to sing the song "fernando" by abba in its entirety.

ps. my voice sounds like the angels and saints in heaven having an orgy, that of which produces the birth of the demi-saintgod that is my voice. its THAT good.

pps. my parents ask me to move out every other week.