eyebrowce,

nothing moistens my panties more
than partaking in a heated discussion surrounding the art of eyebrow maintenance.
now i have to start off by saying how i refuse to touch my eyebrows at all costs (sup vicky!). this is not because i get tweezer happy but leaning more towards the fact that i am so fucking lazy that i only end up doing one eyebrow half-assed and end up leaving the other one chupacabra styles because. well. fuck that.

so far. the 5 people who read this blog can tell that i'm VERY easily amused. even more so by women and men with funny looking eyebrows:

"The Eyebrow Weave"

I saw this video on youtube and died. went to heaven where i was given 40 virgins with which i was instructed to do whatever i please. The best part is that the first 30 seconds i was like "is that a man?" and the worst part is that its a sheeeee. and she thinks she looks so good. why doesnt the gay man tell her she looks like a jack-o-lantern carved out in the shape of jack nicolson's "stoned" smiling?
why does the gay man lie?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi6rStWXFZQ

"The Surprised Look"

these eyebrows are having a party.
and no one is invited. not even the forehead.
the eyebrows just kind of invaded the forehead without the forehead's permission. kinda like like the whole israel-palestine shindig (EXACTLY like that).
the forehead is PISSED.
there can only be 2 valid explanations for this:
1) this person was attacked by a pair of psychotic tweezers attatched to an esthetician who's just been shot in the stomach.
or
2) they want to go around town with an expression that screams:
"YOU RAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG?!?!!??!?!?!"

"Mantastic Eyebrows"

PLEASE. why do you do this? call me old fashioned by unless you are a furby.
there is no justifiable reason why men should be getting their eyebrows did.
or any hair removed for that matter.
There's this one guy i can think of.
who i will forever refer to as "eyebrows"
I guess he's good looking if you've been blinded louis braille style
ie. stabbed in the eyes with a needle used to pierce aged leather. (HAHA. man this is more accurate that anyone will ever know)
However if i recall correctly, the first and last thing i said to him ("eyebrows". not louis braille) was "holy shit. you're eyebrows are nicer than mine"
followed by him giving me the eyes of death (which looks about 96% less threatening in this case)
but its like. whatevs.
at least i dont look like a mediocre eurotrash atlantic city casino performer who's face has been mauled by the endangered siberian tiger he rapes.
just saying...