this entire post will revolve around...

now.
i'll give you a moment to deal with your stiffy.
then say about 150 hail mary's and you might as well throw a couple apostle's creeds in there while you're at it.
cause you know god is gunna be pissed about this one.

okay.
i fucking LOVE these two.
i have never been more inspired to get plastic surgery.
because the fact that my boobs aren't shaped like cylinders when i wear my leopard print bikini would
hinder the direct confidence and drive required to do lots of things in my life.
like getting mammograms.
running marathons in VERY revealing spandex.
and most importantly.
chilling at the beach with mah grl, jacked-face ginger spice.
and the playboy bunny tattoo.

i don't think my skin would ever latch on to that shade.
i wouldnt call it a tan per se.
cause tans are brown.
this is more of a "melanoma" orange, perhaps? (COPYRIGHT THAT SHIT. fuck YOU crayola)
and the only way you can achieve that hue of perfection?
simply replace your bottle of STL (and that's "sun tan lotion" for all you retards).
with astroglide.

then take the fat from your ass.
and inject it directly into your lips.
then you would need a lipstick or gloss that yells:
"i LOVE the taste of cock in and around my mouth and chest esp if there is a camera involved"
from the rooftops.
if all else fails
use mayonnaise.

what else.

yes.
must not forget.
lucite platform hooker shoes.
at the beach.
because nothing says "broad"
quite like plastic footwear and warm weather.

so i'll let you have a moment to fully absorb the image at hand.
in order to comprehend the magic
that lies
in bachelorette #1's side boob.

sweet dreams!