le rouche.

i love makeup as much as the next rodeo clown.
maybe even more so.
my crack is MAC.
when i walk into a MAC COSMETICS store (as apposed to the half eaten apple that tastes like asian hipsters)
i get the sudden urge to rip off my shirt...you know that kind of ripping off where your buttons go flying everywhere and you're just like
"YAAAAAAAAAA i want everything".
not really actually.
that was a lot exaggerated.
sorry about that guys,
but seriously.

makeup is something that catches my attention about a good 87% of the time in my life.(and i actually had to gather that percentage in my head too.
i was like. "50? no..much more than that, um..68? no. still not enough. 87? PERFECT)
and i thought i'd just point out some of the epic failures i keep seeing day to day
when it comes to looking like the foo. in the face.

mk so this:


you know when some girls have a foundation that's like 14 shades darker or lighter then their natural skin tone.
and they shmear it all over their face,
but when it comes to the neck part
one must assume they hit a facial land mine
that blasted every single one of their fingers off.

i call it "the mask" because well. self-explanatory.
it pains me to see this form of buffoonery on young women.
its okay. i guess it happens to the best of us (not me)
not clear enough? then allow me to clarify:

"YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING RETARD. BLEND THE FUCKING FOUNDATION INTO THE NECK. BLEND IT"

you are not a mushroom.
nor a mime.
therefore your face.
should not vary in color contrast.
to the god damn neck.

2) messy mascara (when you look at it fast it looks like "messy macarena").

if you want me to look at you and think "cracked-out bitch" or her ugly sister "strung-out ho"
be my guest.
by all means,
who advised people that "blotchy black-eyed murdered prostitute" is a good look?

look at it:


for the love of god, use a q-tip.

what else..
humphrey.

this is just too obvious.....



on the bright side it kinda looks like casper the ghost jizzed "haunted mansion" dust all over her face.