My dog's a fascist.
her name is:
Missy (legitimately)
Miser Stevens
Miserelli
the shnoot
bichon biche
food slut
and my all-time personal fave...Misstina the Dogulera (circa "dirrty" cause she humps urrrrthang)
i call her anything associated with the word "Missy" when she's shaved (cause it brings out the true chola bitch that hides beneath her fur) but when she's all fluffy i call her "fluffazzzz" (appropriately so)
This dog, is the craziest bitch i have ever had the pleasure of meeting. she has to be the reincarnation of some fabulous creature who spent their days smoking cigarettes mounted on a long stick, draped in diamonds and silk, drinking champagne with a plethora of slave men fanning her with giant banana leaves.
she's also the horniest son of a bitch to ever surface this fine earth. She is a humping machine. and i do not exaggerate when i say so. My mother "feels bad" so she enables this fetish by purchasing "toys" for her (contrary to her beliefs about my sexual health ie. immaculate conception is a possiblility) first there was mr. burr (or mr. bear if you're not lil' wayne) and then there was the lovin' lobster..both of which are currently disfigured (bitch likes to beat her lovers). besides that there's always piles of dirty laundry, infant legs and most recently her bed (like dog-like owner)
when she dies *knocks on wood* i'm going to cut off her paw and turn it into a keychain just so i can scare people by touching them with it.
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