my life revolves around

the concept of never ever being raped.
that and quoting myself.
ever since i can remember remembering, i've had the most interesting fear of strange people.
we can all thank barney the dinosaur for that.
and barney rubble. he kinda looks like he rapes babies non?
en tous cas.
i walk around town as if someone is going to jump me from behind and stab me.
it's a little thing my therapist calls "anxiety"
it is annoying yes. but its better than having someone give you a "tic tac" and then you die and then they have sex with your dead body (not cool).
i already told my mother
me said:

"mom. when i die, if you're not alive. make damn well sure that everyone knows that my dying wish is to make sure no one has sex with my corpse, WORD."

she told me to shut up. and i said FUCK YOUUUUUUU (no i didnt)

so times when being a paranoid foo came in handy.. i can think of a couple.

mars volta concert. ghettoness parking. everyone leaves their shit in the car except me and my friend jess. i was about to leave urrthang but then i thought to myself

"i've been watching a lot of intervention recently. and i'm kinda convinced everyone is on crystal meth. so im keeping all my shit on me"

well low and behold. we get back to the car and the back window is shattered. everyone's shit is gone. and i look down and see my untouched belongings and think "shit...world: 32943298733- Me: 1"

from that day forward, i walk around screaming "everyone is on crystal meth!" and rightfully so. because im pretty sure them mofuggaz that broke into the car were looking for drug moneyzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

ezampole 2.

10 o'clock at night. 44 bus going from metro to ghetttttttttttooooosville. a group of hoodrats get on the bus...one of them is looking at my purse every so often with a perverted look in his eye (that look being the one of "i'mma steal your shit"). so i take my purse and wrap it around my arm like 7 times and hug it. so then they get off the bus and i'm all FEWF. then i just hear screaming. i turn around and those bastard stole some poor girl's ipod out of her hand and threw her on the floor as they got off the bus.

and i was like BINGIA! that could have been me. and that could have been my purse being sold to a pawn shop in exchange for crystal meth money.

so from now on. i hold on to my belongings for dear life at all times. i want to get mace but i'm probably going to be in a situation where i'll spray myself when i'm looking for a nail file or some shit.

on that note: i'll leave you all with something i google imaged. the topic was "creepy looking man'. i saw this and i was like "YES YES this totally encompasses the pervert-slut that goes around town molesting people, places,things and animals"